Im Your Daddy .net

Okay little girl… I have got to tell you, one of the craziest, and funniest things to ever happen to me, just happened.

You shot crap on me. Everywhere. I mean it literally, too. So let’s start with a story:

Your grandma L passed you off to me, and said you smelled a little stinky. So I decieded I would change your diaper. By the way, your mom was up in the shower at the time. So, We put down a changing mat, and a towel (Your Grandma’s Idea… turned out to be a good one) and laid you down. I was a smart dad, and go together all the supplies I would need. Diaper, Wipes…. that’s about it.

I unbutton your clothes and your onesie, but I don’t take them off. I get off your diaper and take a look at your diaper. Not too bad, definitely manageable and “could’ve been worse”. So, I start wiping off your bottom like a good daddy, and remove the diaper from underneath you.

I held you up by your feet to reach for another wipe (We’re almost done. Poop is gone, you’re nice and clean) and that’s when it happened. You farted and pooped all at the same time. No big deal, except you literally shot me. You shot poop everywhere!! On the towel, ALL over my shirt, even some on the carpet. Your diaper, your onesie, it was like an atomic explosion right in our living room.

Now, I know a lot of parents talk about a bad diaper experience, but let me tell you something. My mother, and your mother, a CAREER Nanny who grew up in a day care, both agreed it was absolutely the worst diapering anyone has ever seen.

I did’nt konw what to say. For a second, I just stood there. shocked, and speechless.

Then it kinda went like this:

Me: Mom, I need your help…

Grandma: Why? What’s wrong (I could hear here trying not to laugh)

Me: I don’t think I can describe it to you… just get over here.

Grandma: Okay…

and as soon as she walked over, she just bust up laughing. then I said “Okay, so I’m going to need a lot of help… grab the camera”. Your grandma took a couple of less than perfect shots of the poop all over me, and then she helped me change you. The whole ordeal probably took 20 minutes to clean up!

Now I have to tell you baby girl, I never did get mad.. I laughed the whole time and still have a big smile on my face. but it was one of the grossest things I’ve had to go through yet. I have pictures, but because this journal is less than private, I’ll probably keep them to myself.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 14th, 2006 at 6:32 pm and is filed under Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.